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As Discipline Officer with the SSYFL it always disappoints me when I have to see reports of matches that have got out of hand after certain on-field incidents that maybe haven’t been dealt with to everybody’s satisfaction.

I am seeing a small but steadily rising number of incidents reported to me throughout last season and a worrying trend starting for this season, where the two sides involved have suffered a breakdown of their relationship over some on-field incident, or series of incidents that had not been resolved adequately on the day. At the risk of being preachy, I would ask you please to read the following:

Respect

Football is a passionate game and by its own very nature it is tribal – we all want to see our team win and we can look at the opposition as an obstacle in achieving that aim. This can lead to our viewing of the “other team” as not playing by the rules of the game correctly, being the instigator of on-field incidents and always the culprit when things turn ugly. But the “other team” will think the same way about you – it’s just a matter of perspective from our own tribal position.

This is why we have such an important role as coaches and managers of our youth teams to do things the right way: to instil in our players respect for the rules of the game, the sportsmanship that is required to play and appreciate the rewards of success, the understanding that our own interpretation of an incident on the pitch can be seen another way by both the referee and the opposition. 

These points can all be rationally incorporated in the one word that we all have seen many times with regards to FA sanctioned football at all levels but particularly at the youth level: RESPECT.

The Respect code is something that should be emphasised repeatedly before, during and after the season to all attendees at our matches: the players, the staff and also the supporters and parents on the sidelines.

When I was coaching I made every parent and player sign a copy of the code before the season commenced and then reminded them that they had made that commitment when things maybe had a risk of getting out of hand. Did it mean that we didn’t have on-field incidents? No. But what it did achieve was the notion that a time of reflection on what that Respect code meant was important, if we were all to enjoy the experience of playing football.

Referees

Our referees are a rare breed: they make themselves available every Saturday to rule on contentious decisions that invariably 50% of the attendees at the match will not agree with! They need to be neutral and will make the calls as they see them at the time. While there may be a wide range in levels of experience in the referees available to us in the SSYFL, I can honestly say that their integrity is never in question. Even if I was in disagreement with the decision that a referee had made against my team, I always respected that decision.

If you take into account that even in the Premiership the professional referees make mistakes – that was why the controversial implementation of VAR was made – it is understandable how the non-professional referee will make decisions that you will not agree with.

It is also brought to our attention in some reports of incidents that state the referee seemed to be in conversation with the home team and could be seen laughing and joking after the match. When you consider that the way we organise referees in the SSYFL, with no central referee allocation by the league, the home team will always try to organise a referee that they know and have probably used many times before, hence a degree of familiarity is formed between the home coach and the referee. We all do this and it will not be a surprise then to see the referees and opposition coaches and players communicating at the end of the match.

Many of our younger teams have organised referees that are also young – they are just starting out in their refereeing lives and will inevitably make mistakes. These referees are vulnerable to heckling from the sidelines and in some cases their abuse by parents or coaches could well be a Child Welfare issue.

Our players MUST be told to respect the referee, whatever his or her level of experience, and we should set the example as leaders of our teams in never making comments or abuse at this essential figure. This does not stop you or your players from politely asking the referee for an explanation of a call.

Parents and Spectators

This can be the source of many provocative issues; a couple of partisan shouts of support can be misconstrued by the players, coach and fans of the opposition. 

We need to be able to show our support for our teams and children on the pitch but we need to know what is acceptable and what is not. 

I believe that a reminder to the parents to read the Respect guide for Parents is a good start. A quick word to any parent that may cross the line can usually keep a lid on a developing situation.

We must also remind you all that it is never acceptable for spectators and parents to enter the pitch at any time unless expressly instructed to do so by the referee, probably only for medical reasons.

Players

Passion is a constant in the game and sometimes physical contact between players can escalate into something uglier.

The referee is there to deal with all of these incidents. The card system is there for when the contact is deemed to be reckless, unsporting or overly aggressive. The referee may interpret the incident differently from you – he or she can only action what they actually see on the pitch.

You should instruct your players to walk away from any altercations, or if there is simmering bad blood between players perhaps you should consider a quick substitution to calm things down? This is surely preferable to a Red card and the prospect of losing that player for several matches for a violent reaction.

Our own Role as Coaches

We are role models – the players in your team will react to the standard of behaviour that you set. If you question the integrity of the referee, denigrate your opponents, shout abuse or show disrespect this will be echoed by your players and maybe even your spectators.

Almost all of our coaches understand this and lead teams that are sporting, respectful and fully enjoy the competitive experience that youth football can offer. The SSYFL is a well disciplined league and we should be proud of the standards that we set.

Sometimes though we must question our own behaviours when we let these standards drop, due to something that happens on the pitch that we disagree with and the effect that we can have on our charges.

Click the Code of Conducts below to enlarge